I’m skipping ahead real quick because I have wifi and if I don’t tell you now I’ll probably never tell you about that time I got locked out of our bungalow in my underwear.
That time was last night. We just arrived in Koh Tao and went straight to put our bags in our fan only room (NO AIRCON ROOM PLEASE SOMEONE KILL ME! Or at least dump a bucket of ice cold water on me). It’s a free room, so we’ll suffer for the two nights we got free, but we’re totally upgrading to aircon tomorrow. We stayed in the room about 3.5 seconds before we decided we had to get the heck out of there. So we went to grab a drink and dinner and we basically closed down the restaurant we were at because it was right on the ocean with a good breeze going (natural aircon). When we were forced to go back to our room we got into our pj’s which for me consisted of a black t-shirt and these underwear…
Very appropriate for what happens next.
It was dark and late out so I didn’t see any harm in hanging out on our porch for a bit in my not so covered up attire. Then the world started to go in slow motion when I let go of the door handle to close it so the bugs wouldn’t get in our room (being hot and eaten to death by mosquitos sounded like a horrible way to sleep). I’m pretty sure I yelled “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” And I turned around to hear Greg say “That didn’t just happen, did it?!” And I responded with, “I’m not wearing any pants.” After trying to break the door down without actually breaking it, we decided Greg should go look for someone who can help. We chose him for obvious reasons….remember….I’M NOT WEARING PANTS!!!
At this point, time starts going very slow again because it feels like Greg had been gone for at least 12 hours and I was still pantsless, so I put my thinking cap on and started looking around for a hanger or something thin and sturdy I could try to jimmy the door open with. Then I saw a bucket with a thin metal handle and was like….look at me! I’m smart! And then I quickly remembered after trying to get the handle off the bucket that I’m not actually James Bond or MacGyver or any of those other guys who could have probably unlocked the door with a leaf or a blade of grass (which there were plenty of outside our door). So I sat back down trying to stretch my t-shirt into a dress and waited for Greg to come back.
He did eventually come back (and now my shirt is all weirdly stretched out), and he came back with a knife he randomly found behind another bungalow. I don’t even want to know why it was there. He then proceeded to put the blade between the door where the lock is and barely moved it before the door immdeiately popped open. He then did a victory dance which I would have joined in with him if I WAS WEARING PANTS! Instead I ran inside covering my behind and put some pants on like a decent human being!
Later I found out that while Greg was out looking for our hotel manager he got to talking with some guys who work at a tattoo shop near the front of our hotel. They told him that it was the manager’s birthday and she was out celebrating. They told him to sit down with them and have a beer while he waits for her to come back, but then he told them that his wife was locked out too sitting on the front porch and she isn’t wearing pants. They all got a good laugh and I learned that pants are a very important part of life.
Now, please, someone, ANYONE, tell me you have been stranded without pants before….stories where you actually got caught without pants by someone unsuspecting are greatly appreciated!