Yea! That’s me in the pic! OK, OK! It’s not!
Saturday morning I finally decided to use my Joffer pass at Bikram Yoga Seacliff. I was actually really nervous! I’ve never done regular yoga (unless doing it on the Wii Fit counts??) and I went straight for the hardcore hot yoga. What do you wear to Bikram yoga? How much water do I drink before? Do you wear shoes? It was all a mystery to me!
As soon as I walked into the building I was punched in the face with heat, and this was only the lobby! As I started stripping off my clothes (seriously I was burning up already and I wasn’t even in the actual studio yet! I knew I was going to die!) I looked around to see what other people were wearing. My shorts and tank top seemed to blend in pretty well, and no, shoes are not worn during Bikram yoga. I was feeling like I fit in pretty well…that is until I saw the booty shorts wearing hot girl. Mental Note: Don’t stand next to this chick in class.
No I didn’t stand next to this girl, I sat next to booty shorts wearing old man, who’s light grey shorts quickly became dark grey shorts. GROSS! Well he wasn’t the only one sweating his balls off! Within the first 2 minutes as I was bending down in the first yoga position I felt a drip of sweat fall slowly down the back of my leg from my ass. DOUBLE GROSS! I didn’t know people’s asses (including my own) could sweat so much! Anyone wearing anything but black suddenly had different color clothes on. I know! I’m totally grossing you out, but I’ve seriously never sweat so much in my life!
The best part of the whole experience was when our 20 pound Bikram yoga instructor said to spread your legs and touch your forehead to the floor. I actually started laughing! She’s kidding right? NO! She was not kidding! I immediately looked around the class to see if anyone else was laughing, and thats when I noticed everyone touching their heads to the floor! Are you fricken’ kidding me! Yea, so my head has a long way to go before it gets any where near the floor unless I pass out, which almost happened about 5 times throughout the hour and a half session. I loved when she said that “our goal is to only take one water break throughout the session.” As soon as she said that I suddenly became ravenously thirsty! Like I was going to die if I didn’t have water that second! As she walked towards the other side of the room I quickly took a swig of my water bottle and quickly got back into head-on-ass position.
Although I felt like I was going to die at any moment throughout the entire class, I felt so good afterward. The instructor was so nice and encouraged me throughout the whole thing by telling me how “good” I was doing, and that one day I would be able to touch my head to places I never thought possible. My legs were jello as I walked out of 105 degrees and into the 50 degree Seacliff streets, but I felt awesome! My finger tips even felt awesome! All I know is I have never sweat so much in my life and I’m sure I smelled like a farm animal afterwards and that is why even the bum who got on the bus wouldn’t sit next to me. I truly feel bad for whoever had to sit in my bus seat after me. Sick!
Today I pretty much can’t move and I feel like I have been hit by a bus, but I guess that’s a good thing(?) I will be back as soon as I can lift my body out of my bed.