So, I have this friend…Her name is Kate. She’s not just a friend, she’s more of a best friend and co-conspirator. We spend more time chatting with eachother than our boyfriends (well, her fancy ass is getting married! So her fiance). We plan rendezvous (<~~ totally had to spell check that one) which include sharing my leopard Snuggie, drinking LOTS of wine, watching girly movies, and talking about really gross stuff and gossip. It boggles our significant others minds how we are able to talk so much. We seriously never run out of things to say! Most of the time we talk about how awesome the other one is, but occasionally we talk crap about people, our jobs (or lack there-of in my case), and her wedding colors. Did I mention I'm going to be her bridesmaid!?! No? Well, I am!
Anyway, besides the millions of reasons I
like love her, there is one MAJOR reason. She makes me pee my pants a little everyday with how fricken funny she is. I know I’m starting to sound like a secret lesbian, but seriously we are just friends (NO benefits!) I think everyone should have their own miniture Kate because then life would be good for everyone. Since she doesn’t like the idea of chopping herself into a million little pieces we have decided (OK, I decided) to add a new feature to SanFranciscoNoobs.com. It’s called: That’s What Kate Said. You know, like “That’s What She Said” only better! Since she has many one liners I have also included a Daily: That’s What Kate Said under the Daily Casi in the top right side bar of this very blog you are reading now.
The inspiration for this new feature was thought of after a very “interesting” story Kate told me today. So for your reading enjoyment, here is the very first segment of………..
THAT’S WHAT KATE SAID
(BTW I call her Katester and she calls me Cuzandra)
Katester: CAN I TELL YOU MY TARGET STORY????????????? YOU MUST HEAR!!!!!!!
Me: You’re right! I must hear it NOW!
Katester: So, yesterday I had to go to Target to pick up my bc refill, which I buy 3 months at a time. I think there is some magnet force that pulls me in against my will into the clothes department whenever I walk into a Target. While there, I found the 75% off rack and it was full of plain long sleeve shirts – 75% off! so only $3 each! The catch was they were maturnity shirts. I inspected them and there is no extra pouch and they looked normal so I bought them…three of them to be exact. I go to the counter with my 3 months of bc and my 3 maturnity shirts and the checkout lady gave me the weirdest look EVER so to explain myself I said “just in case.” which i thought was a funny joke hahaha. get it?
me: omg i litterally might die right now!
i wish i was with you! it could only have been better in person!
Katester: do you think “just in case” is at least funny?
me: that’s the funniest part!
Katester: I got the look of death from the checkout lady! BITCH!
me: Totally! BITCH!
Katester: I’m ONLY buying maternity shirts from now on, they are GREAT
they are extra long and lose in the tummy, like I’m totally gonna pork out today cause I fucking can
P.S. Beer (see previous post P.S.)